why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I think my fart just growled at me.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Randomize
