It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
