Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Randomize