Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Randomize