she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
