This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Can you repeat that, but with context?
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
