in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
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