I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
