i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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