whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
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