walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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