doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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