I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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