so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
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