the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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