I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
