does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Randomize
