I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
