Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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