it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
