I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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