i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
