there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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