Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Randomize