i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
