Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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