question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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