Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
