My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
