What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I party with great urgency now.
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