wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
