I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
