your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Randomize
