i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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