I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Never underestimate the power of titties
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
