is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
