Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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