:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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