turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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