recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
It's rum buckets o'clock
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize
