he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
