Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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