I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
