also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
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