yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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