Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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