those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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