There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
