Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
