I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Randomize