my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
