I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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