please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
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