shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
