The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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