remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
