All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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